This week I want to share some of the “pearls of wisdom” I learned from the Flourish Women’s Conference this weekend. The theme of the conference was Fear Is A Liar. One of the first things we learned was that most of the worry, stress, fear in our lives is of our own creations. We do this to ourselves!!!
Fear Is A Liar
So why do we create this “busy cycle“? In a nutshell, we have such an unhealthy fear of man. We treat disappointing people as a sin. The world has created this false picture of what is expected. Shoot, I would not want to be a young mom these days. The Pinterest expectations of young mothers are so overwhelming and totally unachievable. But we fill our days with stuff and tasks trying to achieve an unrealistic expectation of what the world thinks we should be. On top of that, our days are filled with worry about how we will measure up. It is all a LIE!!!
How do I fix it? Once we acknowledge the problem, we can work on how to solve it. Breaking the busy cycle is not easy and takes time and practice. From our women’s conferences, our speaker, Alli Worthington, gave us some tools to break the busy cycle.
Tools To Break Busy Cycle
First, make a Stop Doing List. We are such people pleasers. But by trying to please everyone, we are making ourselves miserable by filling our days with a task that bring us no pleasure and keep us from doing the things we want to do. How many times have you taken on a task or position you did not want to do because someone guilted you into it? Or even deeper, have you taken a position or task because you felt like you had to prove your worth? Did you know that so much of our busy world is because we don’t believe we are enough, that we are somehow lacking in something?
Stop Doing List
Make A Gracious NO Statement
You need to make and memorize a Gracious NO Statement. This is what you will say over and over again if someone asks if you can do something that is on your Stop Doing List. You need to sound like a broken record and have no maybe’s, ask me later, no excuses. When you say this enough, they will get the picture. Yes, you are going to disappoint them. Yes, they may be angry or think “less” of you. But remember, you have nothing to prove. When you say NO to things that are not important, you have more time to say YES to things that matter, like family & friends.
It Is NOT a Sin To Disappoint People
You need to write this down and stick it up somewhere you will see it every day until you believe it. It is NOT a sin to disappoint people. In studying the Bible this weekend, we learned that Jesus disappointed people all the time. Jesus did not do what they wanted him to do when they wanted it done. They tried guilting him, begging him, making promises, everything they could to make him do “what they wanted”. Jesus had nothing to prove but did have a calling that needed to be fulfilled.
Stop Wearing BUSY As A Badge Of Honor
How many times have YOU said, “oh, I am sooo busy” “I am too busy” “so much on my To Do List”. I swear this comes out of my mouth a hundred times a day. Yes, my job is to take care of the little things, but I don’t need to shout it out to everyone as if it is a BADGE OF HONOR. My list is so long because I am extra special and have many things to do. Really???? Most stuff on my list is that, STUFF. Nothing life-shattering, nothing that if I died today would the world come to an end because it was not completed. All the sudden, my list seems kinda meaningless. We need to keep Life’s List of Things To Do in perspective and stop giving it so much glory. We actually brag about being busy.
Final Thought On Breaking The Busy Cycle
Part of “Being Fearless” is breaking the cycle of busy that causes us so much worry, anxiety, stress over things that truly are not important. But we have MADE them important because we don’t want to disappoint people, we feel we have something to prove, we like feeling we are important and being busy is a badge of honor. We have created this mess. I have created my OWN mess. So what do we do now. One step at a time. Today I am going to get this 24 hours into perspective. I am going to put emphasis on things that are important and not take on any additional task/jobs that are not. I am going to “get control” over my To Do List and create a Stop Doing List that is specific to me.
Want to learn more about Breaking Busy? Alli Worthington, the conference speaker has two great books. You can get them on Amazon in book form and Kindle. They are easy reads with some more in depth and spiritual look as to why we create the busy cycle and more ways to break it.
Interested in learning what a Christian Women’s Conference is like? Check out my post Fear Is A Liar